I Live My Life in Periods

I live my life in periods. Not the kind that implies my sex, but rather the kind defined by a Google search of Physics terms as "succ...

I live my life in periods.

Not the kind that implies my sex, but rather the kind defined by a Google search of Physics terms as "successive occurrences of the same state within a cyclical phenomenon", or the time taken by a celestial being to go around its orbit. Currently, my orbit is around everything else, except me.

Th transition from fresh graduate to working woman has been a time of anxiety, and repetitious routine that feels so strangely like, and unlike the years I spent at University. Every day has been the same -a succession of ellipses from the periods I live in. I am at work, then I am at home. I am working, and then I am not. My mind is a constant clutter of words into sentences into paragraphs, all ending in periods. I have become an essay consisting of awkwardly spaced ellipses because the words in between the periods have faded into paper, so much that they're either a smudge of what could be, or simply nothing of value at all anymore.

I am in a state of repetition, where activities spoon away at my personal expendables, like my time, and energy, and effort, and feelings, and personal relationships with everyone including myself. I am an occurrence of solids morphing into what I need to be in that current moment -a vague, sometimes-coloured shape lacking in fluidity.

I'm not quite sure just yet of how this can be changed but maybe if I live through enough periods, they'll line up close enough to form new orbits, and maybe, just maybe, the centre of that orbit will be me.






You Might Also Like

1 COMMENTS

  1. "I'm not quite sure just yet of how this can be changed but maybe if I live through enough periods, they'll line up close enough to form new orbits, and maybe, just maybe, the centre of that orbit will be me." This is my favorite part of your post. Hoping for all the best for you!!! x

    ReplyDelete