Don't Fall In Love With My Long Hair

Olympus OM10 35 mm film I cut my hair and changed the way I looked at things. With my new hair or lack thereof came a confidence I di...

Olympus OM10 35 mm film

I cut my hair and changed the way I looked at things. With my new hair or lack thereof came a confidence I didn't know I could fit into my short stature. Having short hair forced me to see things a little too clearly than I'd had wished.

Funny, old habits of burying my face in my gathered hair when I was embarrassed died quickly. Not having to fix my hair left me with extra seconds to notice small details about myself -the mole near my jaw that was always hidden by the shadows made by my hair or the pink of my cheeks when the temperature rose above 30 degrees. And perhaps in that same way, you'd seen every expression I wasn't able to hide anymore. Funny, you'd had always laughed and told me, "Let me see your face."

Funny, it was almost as if without my hair framing the way I saw the world, it seemed bigger. It was almost as if every strand was a heavy chain and now that these chains were gone, I seemed bigger. Smarter. Confident. Independent. Free. Moving forward was easy because I wasn't so damned heavy. Funny, I didn't know the ends of those chains connected to you.

Funny, I knew you'd miss it. Running your fingers through my hair and tucking it behind my ear gave you a sense of masculinity. "Your girl", you called me. I looked into your eyes and saw that you've forgotten who you were looking at. Funny, seeing the nape of my neck as I walked away must've surprised you so much you forgot to come after me.

Funny, before I knew it, my hair has grown as long as when I first met you. When the time comes, you'll move my bangs away, tuck my hair behind my ears, laugh and mumble, "Let me see your face." and by then I'll know enough to walk away, hair tied up into a tight bun. Funny, maybe by then you'll know it isn't.

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