Thoughts on Facebook's Notes System: What kind of notes do you write, even?

Really though -what kind of notes do you write? And why would you save it on Facebook? I can imagine two scenarios. Picture this: A...

Really though -what kind of notes do you write? And why would you save it on Facebook?

I can imagine two scenarios.

Picture this:

A business man, or an accountant in his late 20's -on the outside, you see, he's sick of his life, sick of his gardener that can't speak English, sick of the front desk receptionist rolling her eyes at him when he asks to use the phone because, sick of the average-looking lady in the next cubicle that's rejected his offer to dinner many a late night at the office, sick of his boss' verbal tick of adding "even" to the end of his sentences (what an asshole, I mean, who does that?), sick of his feelings towards his long time object of affections, sick of knowing said feelings will never be reciprocated because she's married to Justin Timberlake, sick of knowing he will never get over his high-school sweetheart, sick of feeling that he'll never achieve his dream of becoming a novelist.

So he types it all down on Facebook -because writing is outdated and Facebook is the only site that's either not blocked in the office or makes him look like he has a life outside making sure people above him earn his monthly wage.

And he clicks, "Save Draft".

And one day, Mr. Businessman-slash-Accountant-slash-Resident-Cynic gets hit by a car on the way to work. The average-looking lady in the next cubicle then has to clean up his work area. "Fuck, this isn't part of my job description", she mutters and she contemplates a location transfer because she doesn't want to work next to some perv that got run over. She turns his computer on and goes on Facebook because, hey, it's not an addiction, I can stop whenever I want, and he's still logged in.

And she scrolls through his profile and finds his notes -they're right on his profile page after all, damned Facebook and its constant need to have every embarrassing detail of your life publicized for every 'friend' to scrutinize.

Title: The People In My Life Suck

And of course, Ms. Office lady cannot help herself. She reads through the note,

April 8

Really wish the receptionist wouldn't roll her eyes at me. It's a shame because she's got really nice, god forbid the novelist in me, 'emerald-like orbs' that look like they've been struck by lightning.

April 12

She rejected my offer to dinner again. This makes it attempt number 10 if I count back until the last time I asked her out. Shame -she mentioned she likes Indian food. The late shifts must make her really tired, I just want to treat her to something nice. I'll try again next time, I guess.

April 13

I'm going to die alone oh god i just want to befriend my gardener like man i want to go bowling if you can shape my shrubs you can bowl with me learn English pleaaaase

April 15

Why does the boss talk like that, even. Even. Am I doing this right, even. why is he successful and im not there goes my self confideeeeEeence

April 28


May 2

Thus ends my autobiography. A detailed recap of my life and how the people around me suck because they don't know how superb I am. Goddamnit. Rejected again. Why can't the beautiful lady in the next cubicle have Indian food with meeeeEeeeeEEEE

And Ms. Average-Looking wipes his computer and tries to ignore the throb in her chest for the one suitor in her entire life that has ever called her beautiful.

Scenario two is a lot more intense:

Picture this:

A student desperately tries his best to make sure his professor doesn't see him on Facebook so he can write his notes, because copy-pasting from MS Word is lame -he likes to live on the edge. But really, being able to chat and write notes without switching windows is ballin'. Screw you, Win+Left Key. Facebook has Notes. And better yet, he publishes his notes for all his classmates because he's a good guy, and his notes are phenomenal and he's a better teacher than any of his professors combined and he takes pride in that because he wants to be a teacher himself.

But some schools block Facebook, don't they.

Shame, really.

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