A Series of Fortunate Events

There are things that have happened and that I have done since arriving in this godforsaken country that I realized I should've don...


There are things that have happened and that I have done since arriving in this godforsaken country that I realized I should've done long, long before.

I've always known I was an obstinate person; Ever since my second year of high school, I've realized that this is a very distinct trait of my personality and it's given me more trouble than I'd like to have had. I've always tried to convince myself with excuses of "I am loyal to my friends; therefore, I must always, always be on Twitter and Tumblr.", "I am loyal to my boyfriend; therefore, I must always, always be on Skype.", "I am loyal to my country, therefore, I must graduate early and get the fuck out of here." I've made up this illusion that my stubbornness is merely a strong sense of loyalty.

I've broken up with my then-boyfriend and I'm glad to have, really. Without something to be "loyal" to, I've found that he wasn't worth the obstinance that was keeping me from realizing my true potential. I'm still in touch with my closest friends and I've found that the stubbornness that kept me on daily updates with them wasn't as strong as my loyalty which stretched and tested weeks between contact. I realized that the trust in our unbreakable friendship did not need to be constantly watched. And I've found that opportunities come to you when you finally drop the wall of knowing exactly what you want to do to the very detail. Opportunity should not intimidate you, because you intimidate Opportunity. It is like a suitor. Passing up Opportunity discourages it, because it feels it doesn't live up to your standards. I've been stubborn. Opportunity offered me shelter and I said, "It's okay. I have something else in mind." Now, I've taken Opportunity's hand and while living with it stresses me out, I've never felt closer to my home, my hopes and my dreams.

And after everything, here I am -loyal, determined, and still a bit stubborn but I now know the difference between being loyal to who I am, to who loves me, and being too stubborn to open myself to possibilities. If I hadn't put up such a stubborn fight, I would have had an easier time last year and would not have developed a crippling anxiety. I am not a stubborn person; I am one of dogged determination.


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"There's a fine line between stubbornness and the positive side of that, which is dogged determination."
-Jeb Bush

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